Before you read this post, I suggest reading the main post of Father Dreams because there I give you more details about Father symbolism.
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Sometimes dreams of your father dying are very upsetting. For example, a young woman, prone to depression, had an exceptional relationship to her father.
She dreamed that they were riding together on a motorcycle. He said to her, “time for me to die now” and suddenly the motorcycle split into two. He drove off the road on his part of the bike and crashed, and she continued onward on her own motorcycle.
Her psychological dependence on him held back her psychological development into adulthood, hence her vulnerability to depression.
I talk a lot about the movement of our psychic energy: when it moves forward, that’s progression. Progression means consciousness develops.
When that energy moves backward, that is regression. When we regress, we can fall into old patterns and get stuck. That’s what a depression is: psychological fixation, stagnation, or inactivity.
Lock-on Regression by Mental Crash
In order to get things moving again, we have to change something in our current attitude. Don’t get me wrong, though. Regression is not always bad or neurotic. Sometimes we have go backward to pick up something we have left behind. That something is always precious life force which has gotten stuck somewhere along the way.
Naturally, that dream of her father dying upset this young woman. However, I offered her congratulations on finally breaking free from the father-complex.
Well, that’s only partially true: psyche was telling her it was ready to break free. She, however, still had to work on making that a reality. That’s what we mean when we talk about integrating the dream material.
An attitude toward life has many facets. It is our normal point of reference. Our attitude is how we respond to typical life events without even thinking about it. You may know your typology, meaning, introversion versus extroversion and thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuitive.
All of that is part of your habitual attitude, which is exactly what you want to look at if you dream of your father dying. You may be stuck in your typological identification.
Your goal in individuation is not about becoming a better INFP or ESTJ. Your goal in life, at least according to C.G. Jung’s idea of personality development, is about developing all of those functions where you are weak.
We need all of those psychological functions in order to adapt to the ever-changing world around us.
Anything we do habitually consumes us, as in the image we see of the Ogre eating children. That’s an image of the Father eating anything that wants to come into its own life.
Remember that an attitude can be both conscious and unconscious. Whatever the dream of your father dying represents in your life, it has something to do with how you see the world.
Our relationship to our actual father, or to anyone who served as a father figure in our childhood, affects our lives in profound ways. This applies whether our relationships with our fathers were good or bad. Believe it or not, psychologically speaking, too good of a relationship can as bad as too bad of a relationship, as in the young woman whose dream we have already talked about.
Oddly, that did not cause her to be too picky about men; instead she drew into her life, men who were nothing like her father – men who were abusive, weak, impotent in life, or troubled in some other way.
Here’s yet another example of the father dying in dreams. A woman who had a terrible relationship with her abusive father hadn’t spoken to him in over 30 years. She dreamed her father died and that she gave the eulogy. The woman was finally free. Again, amazing psychological healing is depicted in this dream.
Reach for the Stars by Jen Norton
A young woman once asked me about recurring dreams of her biological father dying, a man with whom she had very little contact.
Naturally, this woman had fantasies about what it must be like to have a real father. Certainly in some ways we need those kind of healthy fantasies. The can actually nourish the Father image within.
However, we cannot let the fantasy keep us in an infantile state, longing for the father we never had.
I told her that this dream imagery was profoundly moving, especially given that it came to her when she was 21 years old.
In the world of psyche, 21 years old is a powerful turning point in your life, as long as you can recognize the significance of it. You are at that precious age when it’s time to take your first step into the world as an adult. Your whole life is before you and the world is full of opportunity.
Archetypally speaking, that new world is the world of the Father. It is a time in your life which naturally constellates the archetype of the Father.
By constellate, I mean that the archetype is instinctually stimulated into action. When this happens, underlying forces start driving us – psychic forces which should carry us along a course of psychological development.
A woman’s actual father, when he is capable, should usher her into the world. This is not so she can follow his way, but rather so she can find her own way in life. So again, if you dream of your father dying, psyche is telling you something about your readiness for life outside of the old family dynamic.
In general, when a woman is in touch with and guided by her inner Father, then she will discover her own ideas about life and its meaning. She does not accept conventional opinion or authority as her own.
A young man who told me that he had a great relationship with his father, dreamed that his father died. As I told him, this is not a dream that should scare anyone. To repeat myself in case you didn’t get it the first time, dreams about the death of the father mark a significant development in the psyche of anyone who has them.
Aboriginal rite of passage from boy to man
In general, the father is an extremely important figure for a son. The father is the one who first breaks the son free from the psychological ties of the Mother, and then, initiates the boy into the ways of world. This is the idea behind all primitive initiation ceremonies, as shown above or in the video below.
After a dream of the father dying, the boy’s next step is to break himself free from the ties to the Father.
The Prodigal Son Returns
For a man, before he can step into his own life as an independent man, he must psychologically break free from the ties to his father. Only then can he become the Father. Until he makes this break, he is forever, only the son.
A dream of your father dying is an indication that it’s time to step into your own life as a Man. Now, you become the Father (even if you don’t yet have children, for this is a symbolic image).
As an aside, even if you have had terrible relationship with your father, this dream’s message is similar: you’re ready to break free from that and live life according to your own terms.
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What does it mean when your dead father tells you that your mother has passed awat.
So I'm 15 and my biological father left me when I was about 6 and when j was 7 or 8 I had a stepdad. Okay so now for the dreams. In the one that just happened, it was a regular day but My parents were packing for some trip and then it like skips or I forget. They're telling me they're going on a road trip and left, then it skips again and I hear a knock on the door and I see it, my nanna. Hence, I opened it and she's like holding back tears so I ask what was wrong and then she said there was a terrible accident and my stepfather had died and she started crying and I burst into tears screaming no and I woke up sobbing and screaming. Is this just because scared my step dad will leave me like my father? I'm so confused please help
Hi I just woke up from a nightmare I had. It really upset me so I’d like to share in case anyone else should come upon this comment. I’m 13 right now. Anyways here’s the dream, it actually starts out as a long dream. So here’s a backstory to it, this weekend is my grandma and her sister’s birthday and they want me to come over to celebrate. Now here’s the dream, so I’m getting my coat and ice skates and getting ready to go to my grandmas house or something and I go outside and I am standing out on the porch facing the road, there’s a truck that passes the house and in the back was my friends ex. He waves I don’t. Then I notice there’s a man walking through our yard to the house. So I run inside and yell for my parents. My mom is in the mud-room telling us to hush cause she hears something. I told her there’s men coming towards the house with weapons. There’s one at the front, back, and pool porch. Then as me and my mom and dad are trying to figure out what to do and man comes running into the kitchen at us holding a jewelry box I had as a baby, he’s holding it above his head to hit us. He comes at me and I block it and grab it and try to kick him in his crotch. I guess it kind of skips but I think I just forgot but then the other men come in and they’re asking if we have drugs or money. I forgot more and it skips to we’re in my parents bedroom and we’re all sitting on the bed while the men question us. One of them then grabs a huge syringe and says “well we’re gonna have to kill you cause we need your Medicare money”. I don’t know why that was in my dream. Maybe because there’s a bunch of annoying Medicare ads all the time?? Anyways, I accidentally left this tiny part out. While the men were questioning us there was one standing with his back to me, he was the one with the syringe. I recall thinking about kicking him in his crotch or something. But I decided not to and be turned around, pulled out a really big syringe, said the line, and drove it into my dads arm. He pushed the little thing and- the dream ended as I was starting to scream in the dream. I woke up sobbing. It kept replaying in my mind. It still is. I have nobody to help me through it because everyone is asleep. Thank you for reading, hope you all are doing okay have a nice day/night.
A Father dying dream: I'm glad it was only a dream
In my dream I saw my dad with a long and deep laceration to his abdomen on his right side. My younger brother was in my dream too, and I asked him if he knew how my dad got this laceration, he said yes.
In my mind I wondered why he didn't rush him to the hospital and who gave him that laceration, but I didn't question him.
I placed my dad in the back of a truck bed (not familiar with). In my dream I made several attempts to take him to the hospital - I drove, my younger brother in the passenger side and my dad bleeding out on the truck bed. Yet I couldn't find the correct directions. I do remember a scene where we ended up in a field of green crops, I think it was corn. Eventually, I looked back at my dad like 3 or 4 times - more and more red blood was present and each time darker in color. I recall reassuring myself of his resilience and that we would make it to the hospital. He then passed, but I was not sad. Strangely, his body turned into a skeleton, with eyes and was talking to me in human form. I hugged him and told him that I am okay, he did a great job, I'm going to be a nurse, I am successful and all because of him.
I woke up with so many questions: how did he get this laceration? why was it so hard for me to rush him to the hospital? why didn't I try to control the bleeding and have my brother drive the truck? Why didn't I tell my dad all this before he died? I was also relieved that he 'resurrected', and able to thank him for raising me.
The day before I dreamed this, I felt renewed, energized I had worked out. I felt like a new person before I went to bed. Maybe your interpretation is correct, there maybe an aspect of my dad that I am letting go, a change in my attitude.
I had a dream that my dad died. It was on the news headlines with an image of his face on the tv, it said, “father of two gone missing”. I was eating breakfast while watching, I remember squinting my eyes to actually see if it was my dad. Then I believe I went to search for him. The dream “skipped” and I went to another suburb which is on top of a hill out looking the harbour. I looked up and saw a UFO coming towards me. I wasn’t panicking, instead I was just using my hand to block the sun out of my face. It looked pretty cool, the lights flashing on the sides and I think a purple light shining down. It abducted me, but I let them abduct me, like I knew it was were I needed to go. All of a sudden I was in this really clean futuristic and pastel pink bustling hallway room with tall andromedan aliens walking around, there were paintings with victorian frames hung up but I couldn’t get a good glimpse of what they illustrated. There were green rugs on the floor in places. I remember standing still while I watched these creatures move around me, ignoring me, as if my presence was normal. I stopped one of them gently and asked if they’ve seen my dad, if they might’ve taken them. The alien looked down at me unintimidatingly and said, “we killed him”, like it was a job to complete, blunt but not cold. My brother then appeared next to me, however in the dream I didn’t think much of it, instead I though he was there the whole time. I then said, “oh”, softly. I didn’t feel sad or like I needed to cry, nor did I feel hollow from his loss. It just felt like an event that happened. Then in the dream it felt right to leave the UFO, so the dream “skipped” and I was back on the ground. My brother was off the UFO but not with me, instead he was already home. The dream “skipped” again and I was home, now watching the news in the evening with my fathers face on the screen saying that he’d been “killed”, has “died” or been “murdered”. But what I find strange is that no one thought it was peculiar that there was a UFO in the sky, no one noticed it. Only me. And my brother never saw the UFO he was just inside it. So no one question how he had died or who killed him. I guess everyone just went about their days. Oh actually! I think I went to school before I went to that suburb on the hill, I told my friends that it was my dad who has gone missing. Their reactions were shocked but not supportive nor sympathetic. Then I “skipped” to the top of the hill. The end :)
My dad passed away from lung and liver cancer in 12 days after the diagnosis its been a year and almost 4 months tonight i dreamt about him being shot.... When i got to him he looked dead but when i touched him he was still alive the dream was confusing but i cried both in my dream and real life.... When my dad was in hospital before he passed away i saw his last breath.....i dont know how to react to this or what it means...... My mom had cancer since i was 7 i got cancer at the age of 12.... Only lost my father to it and this yr im only turning 17..... Its alot to take in because i also have sudden death.... Since birth only diagnosed in 2018.... Ive veen staying strong for my mom.... She has never seen me cry about eny of this but its definitely getting to me....
Hello, I dreamt that I was in a room of some sort with sister and friends. A couple of people brought my dad in and was telling us he was very sick. They placed him on a table on his stomach where he jersey a couple of times and vomited everywhere. projectile brown orange vomit on walls ceiling and floor. I left to find mom (didn't find her) and when I came back my dad was gone and I was sure he was OK but found out that he died. Whatever he had was highly contagious and several people died the same way he did. In life, we are talking about my step father that came in at my age of 9. I am very very close to him. He was a this girls savior and I look up to him emmensly. He is a Vietnam Veteran and a step father who never got the credit he deserved so I have always done my best to give him that credit. I cry as I say these things here. He is alive today but suffers frontal lobe issues. We live far from eachother. I'm in a marriage I've been trying to break free from but have yet to be able to just walk out the door. It's something I have to do for my own good but I'm terrified. I have responsibility (3 dogs and adult son) that I can not and will not leave behind.
Hi….well I’m 16, my mother died when I was really young. So my dad is my only family, our relatives cast us out mainly because we weren’t up to their standards. My dad is 67…and he has a lot of health issues, I have no other immediate family so I cling to him as my hero. My dream, my brother woke me up and he said that dad wasn’t breathing. I ran to the living room but he was gone, and I looked at the paperwork, I started worrying about the bills, thinking about the memories and I was so…
My dad has cancer and his bone marrow transplant has a 5 year fail rate (20% chance of living after 5 years). Ive never had to deal with grief before. I keep having dreams of his death.
Most recently I dreamt that we were together and suddenly he told me that it was time. I took his hand and led him to a bed. I wanted to get my mom but I knew there wasn't enough time- he was leaving us. I watched him deteriorating and I sat on the bed with him, holding tightly to his hand and I remember it was warm. I haven't been able to hug him in years. And as I realized how warm and nice it was to just hold his hand, he died. and I was all alone in the room.
My mom took me for a drive and as I sat there it didn't feel real. I kept thinking he was alive and when I remembered what happened I would try to distract myself. When we got back we went to where his body was. I didn't want to look but I did. I thought i'd see him just peacefully laying there but instead his skin was falling off his face and he was rotting away. I remember thinking that I didn't want my siblings to see him like this, I wanted to get rid of his body so they would never have to see.
Then I went into a whole different dream before I woke up, but I only remember these moments.
I can't be around my dad because of covid. Its hard knowing we don't have much time left but I can't spend it with him. These dreams are making things worse. Id rather not constantly be think of his death. I just want to enjoy what time we have left.
Hi Joan, thank you for sharing something so personal with us on the site. ? Psyche, that mysterious dimension of being from which our dreams come, does want us to think about death, something which is very clear from this dream. The first scene is peaceful and it shows that something in you is willing to usher your father through this experience and let him go. That means something psychologically, as I have said in this post. Work with that.
After the peaceful passing, your mother takes you for a drive. I can't say what that means personally for you because I know nothing about that relationship. Archetypally, it's significant. We descend into the Mother when it's time for "rebirth." Letting her drive, means staying in a sort of liminal space while you go through this. Don't think; instead feel. What changes the scene of the dream is your resistance: "I would try to distract myself." You want to deny death and your feelings. Don't do that. Stay with your grief and work consciously with this experience of Death. Do think about his Death, and at the same time, enjoy what you have left. It is not one or the other.
Your resistance to death, whether it's conscious or unconscious, is why this dream has manifested death so graphically. There is more to the dream than just that, and without knowing you, I can't say more, but I would suggest working with this frightening image. Psyche means something by it. It's not just a gross image. The dream seems to place the emphasis on the decomposition of the body. The body is not who or what we are, and something beyond that does continue. We can see that from the dreams of people who are dying.
Here's the thing: the way many humans see it, life and death are opposites, but that is not the truth. Birth and death are opposites, and together, they are Life. Life is also not what we think it is. There's a mystery to it that we have forgotten . Many times, people who are dying dream of the process, and when people are okay with their death, those dreams show images of something continuing.
I am not being anecdotal here. I speak from my personal experiences and not from ideas I have made up to make myself feel better. Death has "walked with me" for most of life. The first 35 years or so, I lived in terror of it. Now at age 55, I am not at all afraid. Death is not what we think it is and I know this because I have ushered one woman to the threshold. Our shared experience is something I will never forget.
Hi Jesamine, these are very interesting interpretations and how you talked about the importance of progression, the change of direction starts with the change of thoughts.